What Would JC Do?

A Minister for Propaganda Elf writes: Like all good things, people, ye olde Johne Connollye competitione had to come to an end, and the best we can say about the experience is that we’re not much older and just a smidge wiser, providing you consider that learning there exists out there somewhere ‘a fabulously ugly china figurine of the Guggenheim Bilbao dog riding a motorbike’ amounts to additional wisdom (cheers, Keiron). We also learned that Lisa B may or may not have John Connolly chained up in her basement or attic, and it’s entirely likely the case of Glenfiddich-flogging Josh Schrank was the fink who tipped off the cops about it (boo, etc.). Anyhoo, on with the winners: a trumpet parp please, maestro, for (a) Diane Lawlis, not only for making Jack Daniel’s Pecan Pie, but for shipping internationally; (b) Norby, for the outrageous flattery, and allowing the Grand Vizier understand for one glorious, fleeting moment how it must feel to be John Connolly; and (c) Fiona at the noenic(at)gmail.com address for displaying local knowledge with the M50 ‘stuck-in-limbo’ gag. To everyone else who entered, we thank you for taking the time and making the effort. Next week: Crime Always Pays runs a competition to spend one night with John Connolly, in Lisa B’s basement / dungeon, with JC facial hair optional. Meanwhile, if the winners would like to contact the Grand Vizier at dbrodb(at)gmail.com with a snail mail address, a copy of THE REAPERS will be winging its way to you post-haste …