Have you been told by well meaning people "don't kiss your horse he won't respect you"? Or "you're too mushy with your horse, you need to be tougher". >From barn managers to trainers I hear this all the time from my students and clinic participants typically with tears in their eyes. I'm here to tell you YES you can kiss your horse and give public displays of affection (PDA) and you won't lose your horse's respect, on the contrary, your horse needs affection especially from you. I've heard trainers say that kissing your horses face is dangerous because it means to the horse that you are going to bite. I kiss my horse's face and muzzle all the time and they know the difference whether I'm displaying affection or going to bite. Horses are far more intelligent then we often give them credit. They live in the "feeling" zone knowing your intentions often before you are aware of what your body is projecting. Horses sense fear, anger, sorrow and love and are fully capable of receiving your loving intention without reacting dangerously so long as you are their herd leader – that's the KEY…….
Your horse is genetically wired to require a herd leader at all times even in your herd of two you and your horse. Therefore you must establish your leadership first with any new horse and continue to be the leader at all times. Your leadership must be in herd language invoking your horse's instinct which is established by controlling your horse's feet – it's that simple. Humans and horses share Four Core Emotional Concerns and one of them is Status. Your horse will continue to vie for a higher status within your herd so don't take it personally when your horse tries to move your feet, and be aware when your horse is doing it. For instance, when you are lunging your horse are you backing up because your horse is too close? If so your horse is moving your feet which means your horse is the leader, not you. Be aware if your horse is subtly moving your feet. If you are backing up counter your horse's action by getting him/her out of your space. If your horse rubs on you knocking you off your feet simply back your horse up and only allow your horse to rub on your terms such as feet firmly planted and hands lifted allowing him to rub his head. No need to be angry or dramatic just control your horse's feet by countering him/her trying to move your feet. By controlling your horse's feet you are invoking their natural instinct and they will recognize you as their herd leader. Always consider safety first, establish your leadership and know the horse you are working with before putting your face in close proximity for a bite, that's just common sense right? But if you have been loving on your horse and someone tells you not to, understand they mean well and know you and your horse have a deep and abiding relationship that fulfills your needs as well as your horse's. To learn more visit www.HorseMAREship.com where membership is free and viewing Missy Wryn's training videos are free too.
Missy Wryn is the founder of Training the Whole Horse®, IRON FREE Riding, and HorseMAREship™ plus inventor of the ALL-IN-ONE Training Halter Bitless Bridle. Specializing in problem and dangerous horses Missy has developed a unique approach to training and riding horses Iron Free. Training the Whole Horse® is the foundation to Missy's innovative and simpler approach to training your horse using effective communication that your horse will understand, honor and respect while having fun and being safer riding Iron Free (no bits – no spurs). Check Missy's schedule for appearances and lectures in your area at www.MissyWryn.com or schedule an Intensive for you and your horse by calling 866-821-0374.
Missy Wryn is also CEO and founder of Natures Balance Care, LLC. Natures Balance Care is the manufacturer of organic approved (OMRI) fly control skin care products for dogs, horses and organic livestock. Visit www.NaturesBalanceCare.com
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