"Looking good and dressing well is a necessity. Having a purpose in life is not." (-Oscar Wilde)

I happen to think we do have purpose in our lives. My siblings have meant the world to me in my life.

As a child, I was very shy and really very dependent upon my older sister, Mary Kate. We were fifteen months apart, and I never really made decisions about what I did as a child: I just watched what Mary Kate did. I was somewhat of an insecure child. My younger sister Claudia was a very happy-go-lucky, adorable child, and people responded to her in like fashion.

Remember the pop-culture book, some years ago, I’m OK, You’re OK? The basic premise, in a simplistic nutshell, was that we all respond to the world in several ways: We either think:

“I’m OK,...you, however, are not so OK,” and we send that message to others we deal with. We think we’re better than everyone else.

OR, we think: I’m not OK,…but you’re OK.” Meaning we think we’re somehow inferior, and others are somehow better than we are.

The ideal, healthy way to meet the world, according to this book, is to think, “I’m OK, and you’re OK, too!”

Claudia was always an “I’m OK, you’re OK” kinda’ gal to me. Mary Kate and I had already gone through kindergarten with "Mrs. Kane." Mrs. Kane liked us all, and when it was Claudia's turn for school, she teasingly said to Claudia: "Poor Mrs. Kane." Claudia immediately said, "No--LUCKY Mrs. Kane!" She saw herself as someone Mrs. Kane would WANT in her class, even as a young child. What healthy self-esteem!

My younger brother's son, Graham, today, is the same. They are comfortable in their own skin, and they assume you are good and comfortable in yours, too. It IS a healthy way to approach life—to meet all people as good, and to expect good from them. Claudia doesn’t realize how much she has meant to me over the years. She has always unconditionally supported me whenever I went through difficult situations. I so admire and appreciate that in her.

While I tend to be a minimalist as far as makeup goes, I would never go out of the house without some kind of makeup on: on that desert island, I’d still want my mascara! Perhaps I still have some traces of that “I’m not quite OK” in certain aspects of my life.

But...life's circumstances over time—a divorce early on, being a single parent for years,--have all forced me to push myself and to learn about myself and my own strengths. Interesting that a difficult experience as a young parent really did ultimately help me come out of my shell and be comfortable with myself. The person who was always phenomenally shy can travel alone, walk into any room alone, and basically be comfortable. I'm still shy, but I have learned to compensate for that, and realize the world doesn't revolve around me. Adversity does somehow make us stronger.

“Necessity is the mother of invention, it is true, but its father is creativity, and knowledge is the midwife.” (-Jonathan Schattke)