“I know my older sister loves me..."

...because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.” (-Author unknown; attributed to a 4 year old named Lauren)

My oldest sibling, Mary Kate, is 15 months older than me. I’ve looked up to her all my life. Of all my siblings, she’s probably the calmest and most even-tempered: a classic first child.

When I was born, Mary Kate and my parents had already settled into a fairly comfortable, even tempo: let’s just say they had come to an understanding of each other’s schedules and needs. When I was born, however, being of a different temperament than Mary Kate, and needing different things, I suppose, I kind of put a wrench in all that, and I quickly became known as “the difficult child.” (Mary Kate and Sue below)

I always perceived events in Mary Kate’s life as maintaining on a very even keel. Now, I’m a firm believer that none of us comes through this life unscathed, but Mary Kate was one of those people who never appeared to have been shaken by the cruel hands of Fate the way we all inevitably are.

In school, growing up, I followed her each year, and constantly heard teachers say, with the air of Great Expectations in their voices, “Aaaaah, you’re Mary Kate’s sister!” I usually felt a knot in my stomach the minute I heard that, fearing I could never measure up to such promise! Mary Kate was very smart, and while I suppose I was smart, too, at that time, I certainly never thought I could “deliver the goods” they were anticipating from Mary Kate’s sister.(Claudia, Mary Kate and Sue below)

I did inherit all of Mary Kate’s dresses and clothes growing up. I was always eager to see what new things she’d have, knowing one day they’d probably be my new things, too, but I enjoyed that. She was my best friend, my confidante, and the symbol of stability in my life.

Mary Kate played the piano beautifully. Claudia and I took piano lessons, but Mary Kate excelled at the piano. I always thought she’d grow up to be a concert pianist, but she wound up going into the Peace Corps, living in Zaire for several years, meeting her future husband Oscar (a fellow volunteer) there, and, like most of us, juggling a demanding career and raising a family instead. Now, she has 2 fabulous grown sons who are funny and interesting and kind. I would have expected nothing less. Now, my dad is living with Mary Kate and Oscar in their home. (Sue and Mary Kate below)

“Sibling relationships—and 80 percent of Americans have at least one—outlast marriages, survive the death of parents, resurface after quarrels that would sink any friendship. They flourish in a thousand incarnations of closeness and distance, warmth, loyalty and distrust. (-Erica Goode) (Mary Kate, Eddie and Claudia, my siblings, below)

"Looking good and dressing well is a necessity. Having a purpose in life is not." (-Oscar Wilde)

I happen to think we do have purpose in our lives. My siblings have meant the world to me in my life.

As a child, I was very shy and really very dependent upon my older sister, Mary Kate. We were fifteen months apart, and I never really made decisions about what I did as a child: I just watched what Mary Kate did. I was somewhat of an insecure child. My younger sister Claudia was a very happy-go-lucky, adorable child, and people responded to her in like fashion.

Remember the pop-culture book, some years ago, I’m OK, You’re OK? The basic premise, in a simplistic nutshell, was that we all respond to the world in several ways: We either think:

“I’m OK,...you, however, are not so OK,” and we send that message to others we deal with. We think we’re better than everyone else.

OR, we think: I’m not OK,…but you’re OK.” Meaning we think we’re somehow inferior, and others are somehow better than we are.

The ideal, healthy way to meet the world, according to this book, is to think, “I’m OK, and you’re OK, too!”

Claudia was always an “I’m OK, you’re OK” kinda’ gal to me. Mary Kate and I had already gone through kindergarten with "Mrs. Kane." Mrs. Kane liked us all, and when it was Claudia's turn for school, she teasingly said to Claudia: "Poor Mrs. Kane." Claudia immediately said, "No--LUCKY Mrs. Kane!" She saw herself as someone Mrs. Kane would WANT in her class, even as a young child. What healthy self-esteem!

My younger brother's son, Graham, today, is the same. They are comfortable in their own skin, and they assume you are good and comfortable in yours, too. It IS a healthy way to approach life—to meet all people as good, and to expect good from them. Claudia doesn’t realize how much she has meant to me over the years. She has always unconditionally supported me whenever I went through difficult situations. I so admire and appreciate that in her.

While I tend to be a minimalist as far as makeup goes, I would never go out of the house without some kind of makeup on: on that desert island, I’d still want my mascara! Perhaps I still have some traces of that “I’m not quite OK” in certain aspects of my life.

But...life's circumstances over time—a divorce early on, being a single parent for years,--have all forced me to push myself and to learn about myself and my own strengths. Interesting that a difficult experience as a young parent really did ultimately help me come out of my shell and be comfortable with myself. The person who was always phenomenally shy can travel alone, walk into any room alone, and basically be comfortable. I'm still shy, but I have learned to compensate for that, and realize the world doesn't revolve around me. Adversity does somehow make us stronger.

“Necessity is the mother of invention, it is true, but its father is creativity, and knowledge is the midwife.” (-Jonathan Schattke)