It didn’t take me long to realize that time, and the whole notion of time was confusing to my son as a small child. “In a week,” “in an hour,” or “next year” are incomprehensible to a tiny child. I tried to show him that if we planted bulbs in the fall, “next spring” we would be rewarded with beautiful tulips. While he was impatient, and would check religiously to see if the foliage was starting to peek up out of the ground, he was also excited when finally they grew and flourished. Over the years, he has generously sent me flowers for birthdays and Mother’s Days and I have been touched by his thoughtfulness every single time.
It became very clear to me just how confusing it must be for a child to conceptualize time on one occasion when Eric was taking a nap. He was about 3 years old. It was his habit to remove his pants and shirt and fold them on a child-size chair next to his bed, and curl up under the covers. I never taught him to do that, he just did. While he wasn’t fond of naps, he seemed to know when he really was tired, and he’d fall into a deep sleep, sometimes for several hours.
On this one occasion, he awoke, and went straight to his dresser and began taking out a new set of clothes to wear. I remarked to him that he could put those same clothes back on that he’d lain so neatly on the chair, reminding him he’d only worn them for a few hours and they were still clean. Suddenly, he looked at me with a very puzzled expression, and then, he looked out the window, and finally, looked back at me.
He asked me, “Is this tonight? Or today?”
I found myself answering, “This is today.”
I had no idea what he meant, but it suddenly occurred to me that he wasn’t sure if he’d slept “all night,” or just part of the day, and that was what he was trying to determine. I guess looking out the window was to see if it was dark or not. That one question made it abundantly clear to me why he disliked naps so much: I realized that he perceived he was losing precious, valuable time that he didn’t want to lose. It gave me a much better understanding of how he processed his day, and that one remark has stuck with me forever. I've shared it with him and let him know how it touched me.
“The only reason for time is so that everything doesn’t happen at once.”
(-Albert Einstein)
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