“Grow old along with me! The best is yet to be, the last of life, for which the first was made." (Robert Browning)

This weekend was a birthday weekend for Joe. (Joe blowing out his candles on an angel food cake his daughter made for him, below)

He was fortunate to be surrounded by several of his kids, who came to celebrate with him over pizza, beer and games. (Joe with his son Ethan, left, and Ethan's fiancee Katie below, right)

A few of them live close enough to us that they could come over, bring him thoughtful gifts and funny birthday cards, and talk and laugh away the evening. He was recently teasing his son about the latest trend of guys wearing their shirts half tucked in, half out, and his kids got a good laugh when he greeted them this way at the door. (He said it's his new look for the year. See above.) (Joe, his son Ethan, and his daughter Beth below)

He is never happier than when he’s surrounded by his kids, and it’s wonderful to see. (Joe with his youngest daughter, Beth, holding a "Dad's Root Beer" from her in his hands. Of course, he'll save that bottle.)

I remind him all the time of just how fortunate he is!
Happy Birthday, Joe.

“I know why families were created with all their imperfections. They humanize you. They are made to make you forget about yourself occasionally, so that the beautiful balance of life is not destroyed.” (-Anais Nin)

“Come, woo me, woo me; for now I am in a holiday cheer and like enough to consent.” (--Shakespeare)

Joe has an affinity for frogs.

I always say it must have something to do with his French “Gervais” heritage, (he’s now a Jarvis) but any time he sees anything celebrating the frog, he just lights up.

As a result, we have been given numerous gifts with frogs and they seem to be everywhere.

A few years ago, a friend gave us this little ornament (above) of a frog sipping a drink, and I have to admit, I smile every time I get it out of the ornament box. It’s just very apropos. Needless to say, I had to sketch it.

“The frogs wore red suspenders
And the pigs wore purple vests,
As they sang to all the chickens
And the ducks upon their nests.

They croaked and oinked a serenade,
The ducks and chickens sighed,
Then laid enormous spangled eggs
And quacked and clucked with pride.”

(-Jack Prelutsky)

"To be overcome by the fragrance of flowers is a delectable form of defeat." (~Beverly Nichols)

I came home from my latest trip to a familiar sight: whenever I’ve been gone and return home, Joe has a sweet ritual he always goes through. He vacuums, cleans, and he puts flowers out virtually everywhere for me to enjoy.

My eyes dashed from surface to surface, and each spot held a little vignette he’d arranged, and he knew I'd appreciate them all.

Our knockout roses are still going strong, and the impatiens are up to my knees out in the yard, so Joe picked some to scatter around our place for me. It's nice to see what caught his eye in our garden.

He tucked a few zinnias into arrangements, and the blue salvias in our kidney bean bed are still amazingly blue and sending out color like crazy. Little miniature coral and yellow roses are still blooming as well.

Bright pink and yellow lantana are crowding out other flowers, enjoying the cooler temps we’ve had lately, and the Mexican sage and Mexican petunias are vibrant and happy now that fall’s made its presence clear in Cary, NC.

Joe’s very brave with his use of color, as you can see!

It was a joy not to have to head to a hotel room again, but it was even more pleasant to actually smell roses!

And while I certainly don’t expect flowers all over upon my return…it sure is nice!

"Flowers... are a proud assertion that a ray of beauty outvalues all the utilities of the world." ( ~Ralph Waldo Emerson, 1844)

Have a most pleasant weekend, all—I’ll be on the west coast Monday and back in the saddle again.

“Remember there is no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.” (-Scott Adams)

Yesterday, Joe said he wanted to take me to lunch at our local art museum. His daughter had given him a gift certificate for a meal at the museum for a Christmas present, and he'd yet to use it, so...

He knew I’d been working diligently all day and all night recently. For weeks now, I’ve been planning my itinerary for months of upcoming trips, and even evenings, while I’ve been watching Michael Phelps do his Olympic thing, I’ve been simultaneously working at the computer until late every night.

So, we took a breather and put some nice clothes on, wandered around the museum for a bit, and ate a nice meal: Joe had a BLT on homemade tomato bread, and I had a wonderful salad of arugula, peach slices, spiced pecans and a smooth chevre cheese, tossed with a lovely vinaigrette. Then, we even indulged in dessert…Two desserts, to be specific.

Life is good...now it's back to work...

“Without ice cream, there would be darkness and chaos.” (-Don Kardong)

Hands in the spaghetti

I was never glued to the tube for the Sopranos, but I was a fan. I probably even missed some seasons in their entirety, but for a number of episodes, I tuned in with lots of other people to see what good old Tony was up to.

Once, I was telling Joe what my brother Eddie says about people he thinks are too cowardly in handling challenging situations. Eddie would always say to me, “You know what I mean, Sue, she’s just not someone who’s willing to get her hands in the spaghetti.” Of course, since it was Eddie, I knew exactly what he meant by that. Not being willing to get your hands into the spaghetti was just not at all attractive to Eddie! He liked people who would fight for a cause, even if that meant getting down and dirty if you have to. (Who knows where he comes up with these things.)

Anyway, I'll set the stage for you:

Last year, I was heading down to visit my dad, and I had shared with Joe that I wanted to have a real heart-to-heart talk with my dad about some important topics from the past. I suppose I was a little bit apprehensive, hoping daddy would understand what I would say, and that he'd take it in the right way when I did. Now, as it turns out, my dad is a “Tony,” --(although, certainly a much nicer, more admirable Tony than Tony Soprano.) My dad is now living in Statesboro, Georgia with my older sister Mary Kate.

Joe came along on my visit, (and Joe is originally from Oklahoma.)

My dad and I wound up having a very nice visit, much as I thought we would, and we really communicated well--we had a great talk, hugged and cried, and there was nothing at all to worry about, but prior to my heading down there for my visit, Joe thought I might be anxious, and he handed me this hilarious photo with this caption beneath it. I never shared it before with my dad, and daddy, I know you read this blog, so I hope you get as big a kick out of it as I did.

It still makes me laugh…

“The family. We are a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another’s desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms, inflicting pain and kissing to heal it in the same instant, loving, laughing, defending, and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together.” (-Erma Bombeck)

“The simplest things are often the truest.” (-Richard Bach)

Joe came home from his daily walk this morning and placed this leaf in front of me, saying, “There is something I just find very beautiful about an absence of symmetry in nature.”

I had to smile because I often think of him as so “on a mission,” that I sometimes also have a tendency to think he’s missing things in his surroundings. Yet he’ll often bring me things like pretty colored rocks he’s picked up, or an unusual flower, or a dragonfly he managed to cup in his hands for part of his walk one day, just so he could show it to me.

I realize now it’s not that he’s missing things; it’s that he’s just seeing different things from me that catch his eye.

I have come to appreciate his eye for wonderful things that I might have missed while I was off being entranced by something else.

“For every beauty, there is an eye somewhere to see it...” (-Ivan Panin)

“Some pursue happiness; others create it.” (-anonymous)

Friday was pretty much a perfect day:

I awoke to warm breezes through the open doors and the birds singing. Joe and I ventured out to a local market and picked up some glowing local tomatoes and vegies.

Afterwords, I met up with two of my flickr watercolor friends Laura and Lin, and we took in two current exhibits at the UNC Ackland Museum of Art: one was “Flowing Like Water” with artists’ varied depictions of water, and the other was “In and around the garden.”

From there, we wandered off to a wonderful little art supplies store, and being like-minded, we ogled the wonderful art papers, journals, sketchbooks, inks, paints and palettes to our hearts’ delight.

But the piece de resistance was our trip to a nearby gelato shop where we made a lunch of the delectable gelato. We sampled tiny spoonfuls of cappuccino, orange-chocolate, peanut butter, watermelon, strawberry, pistachio and lemon, and then once we made our selections, we each savoured a bowl of the heavenly treat. We’d originally planned to do some sketching there, but with all the gelato we consumed, our tongues were numb, and we decided it was just too chilly to stay and sketch! (I proposed that we should definitely come back, but bring sweaters next time.) I took some pictures to try to sketch later.

Good friends, good art, good food…what more could I want…

“What a wonderful life I’ve had. I only wish I’d realized it sooner!” (-Colette)

“Remember the tea kettle—it is always up to its neck in hot water, yet it still sings.” (-unknown)

Joe’s a coffee drinker, I drink tea.

I wish I liked coffee. I really do. I want to.
I admit to loving the redolent scent of fresh coffee brewing, especially in the morning. Joe sometimes likes to grab a cuppa from Starbucks or any of the local coffee shops while we’re out, and he’ll sometimes really boil the canary and add a dash of almond flavoring. There have been days when I didn’t want to leave the car, just to sit and savour that fragrant aroma. I love the ritual of coffee and the camaraderie of people meeting for coffee.

But drink it? My brother Eddie always told me I was “a bit tightly wound,” and he’s pretty accurate there. The last thing my body needs is coffee, which brings me to such a frenetic state of anxiety that it’s criminal. Friends tell me it helps wake them up and get them going to have a cup of coffee, but it doesn’t have that effect on me. I believe them, and envy them that, but if I drink coffee, I’ll still feel tired, only then, I’ll feel tired as well as tense and agitated for hours.

A cup of tea won’t affect me that way. I find it soothing and comforting, and it doesn’t leave me feeling as if every nerve ending is exposed to the cruel world the way coffee does. I love the whole notion of brewing coffee and drinking the adult beverage that everyone else does, but I just can’t do it. So, have a cup, and enjoy it for me. For now, I'll take your word for it...vicariously.

“We had a kettle; we let it leak:
Our not repairing made it worse.
We haven’t had any tea for a week…
the bottom is out of the Universe.”

(-Rudyard Kipling)

“What my mother believed about cooking is that if you worked hard and prospered, someone else would do it for you.” (-Nora Ephron)

I have a theory about fussy eaters: if you get them personally involved in the cooking process itself, lo and behold, they sometimes actually wind up liking the food.

Take Joe, for instance: there are lots of foods he THINKS he dislikes. There’s only one food I can think of that I honestly don’t care for, and that’s turnips—(but if you put them in front of me, I’ll probably go right ahead and eat those, too.) I tend to crave variety, and I love veggies, fruits, salads,...and desserts. Experimenting in the kitchen is fun to me.

I’ve learned, though, that Joe kind of enjoys learning to cook, and when he does, he winds up liking what he fixes. If he’s near the kitchen, I’ll put him to work measuring, dicing, chopping, layering, and pouring with me, and now he’s got some of his own recipes down pat. Once, when I was on the road for work, he wanted to make home-made mac and cheese, so I told him he needed to make a roux first. He balked at me like I’d spoken in some strange dialect of Swahili and asked what that was. When I told him over the phone how easy it is to make a roux, he wrote it down, and now, he’s handing out his recipes to his kids, and naming his meals things like “Dad’s Killer Mac ‘n’ Cheese Casserole.” I told him now that he can make a roux, he has the basis for a lot of foods. I’ve heard him telling other people about how simple it is to make a roux. He’s even getting creative—instead of putting potato chips or bread crumbs on top of mac and cheese, he puts French fried onion rings on it, and it’s delicious. (Fattening...but delicious!) Now there's the sign of a confident cook--improvisation! Here he is with an ice ring he helped make for a holiday punch. (He wanted a photo!)

We both look for recipes in the Wednesday food section of newspapers, or in magazines, or online, and if something sounds good, we’ll put it in “our” cookbook. We slip recipes into plastic sheets in a looseleaf binder and we've made sections for “hors d’oeuvres,” “drinks,” “meals/casseroles,” “baking/desserts,” etc. And guess what? For the most part, Joe finds he now enjoys a lot of those foods he thought he didn’t…

“I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick—not wounded—dead.” (-Woody Allen)

"Stressed spelled backwards is 'desserts.'"

"Coincidence? I think not.” (author unknown)

How did I ever wind up with someone who doesn’t like desserts the way I do? It’s incredible: Joe could go the rest of his life and wouldn’t care less if he never saw another piece of cake or a cookie. And ice cream? He’s the only person I’ve ever met in my life who doesn’t like it. Me, on the other hand, I’m a total sucker for sweets. A Dove bar sends me into paroxysms of ecstasy.

I tend to want to eat more healthy foods as a rule than he does, and when it comes to vegetables and fruits, I love them. If I do indulge in sweet things, I'll try to mentally adjust, thinking of what I should NOT eat at the next meal, so that "it will all balance out in the end." But I definitely love my desserts. The more decadent, the more I enjoy it.

Growing up, my siblings and I never ate snacks in-between meals. Unlike some homes, we never had chips or candies sitting out for us, but we always had a dessert after every dinner, every day of our lives. So now, after a meal, I tend to crave a sweet ending to it. Now, Joe will enjoy a good pie, which is fine by me... I like pie, ...and I like it even better with a good dollop of ice cream or whipped cream on top of it...but life without cake would be cruel, indeed.

“A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.” (-author unknown)

"Frogs have it easy, they can eat what bugs them." (author unknown)

We have every color of the rainbow in an exuberant display in our garden, and sprinkled throughout the flowers are numerous statues of irreverent frogs.

Joe’s heritage is French, and I always tease him that the frogs must have some sort of significance that way. Most of our frogs are characters we pick up at our local flea market, and several of them started out their lives as heavy iron banks: their mouths are really slots for coins.I never think of myself as a “chatchky” type of person, but I have to admit I’ve come to be enamoured of our frogs. Joe has been the whimsical instigator of their proliferation around the yard. You’ll come around a corner of a garden bed and there they’ll be, peeking up at you. You can’t help but smile to see them.
Joe is 13 years older than I am, but I think the frogs speak volumes about his child-like nature.

“What are little boys made of? Frogs and snails, and puppy dog tails, that’s what little boys are made of.” (author unknown)

RIBBET.

"Gardens are a form of autobiography." (-Sydney Eddison)

When Joe and I met, we each had different pasts, different families, different stories. Our “things” are different, but we have blended them, eclectically, in a way that makes us both happy.

I used to envision a garden with soft, pastel lavenders, whites and blues, with maybe some hints of pink here and there--all the cool shades against the vivid greens of foliage and grasses. Joe, on the other hand, loves his oranges, reds, and vibrant yellows.

We both thrive on garden centers, farmer’s markets and flea markets, where plants are plentiful. Like most people who enjoy gardening, we can’t say no to a flower. In my mind, I’ll think “Lavender: we are here to seek out a lavender-colored flower to plant next to that white, lace-capped hydrangea.” But invariably, there will be an interesting yellow bud that catches our eye, or an orange petal that’s transparent in the sunlight and we just can’t resist it. So, we find a way to squeeze it into the overall design. Our garden has evolved into a story that mimics our own: it’s really a conglomerate of gardens, all comingling together, and somehow, it’s become harmonious and lovely in its own right.

"Half the interest of a garden is the constant exercise of the imagination." (-Mrs. C.W. Earle)

"You can't be friends with a squirrel..."

There are usually two camps in this conversation. There are those, (like me,) who, at a distance, find them to be clever, entertaining creatures. Now, I recognize that they are glorified rodents, but their cunning schemes do amuse me. Squirrels are phenomenally deft at outwitting humans in their quest for sunflower seeds and suet. They’ll dig in our hanging baskets, pull bulbs out of the ground, and detach hanging feeders with the adroitness of a human. Gloriously nimble and acrobatic, they leap over tree limbs and shed rooftops with a dexterity that, to me, is quite remarkable. While I wouldn’t necessarily want one for a pet, I enjoy watching their mischievous antics, and I have a healthy respect for their extreme persistence.

Then, there are those like Joe, for whom the battle began some time ago: he spends an exorbitant amount of time attempting to outwit the little critters. Droll Yankee squirrel-proof feeders and pepper suet are the modus operandi in this camp. The squirrels will bustle about, wreaking havoc on our deck, and if I appear, they basically ignore me. But at the merest suggestion of Joe’s footstep, they will come to an abrupt halt, with eyes and ears alert, assessing what the latest weapon in the battle is going to be. They sense his passion, because they possess that same zeal themselves. Undeterred, they never surrender, but plan each defensive attack with glee.

So far, in the war against the squirrels, the score is squirrels 1, Joe 0.

Enjoy the squirrels on flickr here, with Linda Yvonne:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/from_linda_yvonne/sets/72157594557694388/